I know it's been a long time since I have written in this blog!! I am still here!! For awhile I have wanted to give a baby update, but was a little scared to do so. The closer my due date came, the more frightened I became that everything would go wrong in the end. I did start to have a few health problems at the end of my pregnancy that renewed my fears. My mind raced, and even though I knew if everything were to go terribly wrong I would make it with the help of the Lord; the fact remained that delivering and burying a full-term infant would be much different than delivering and burying a 16 week old baby! Holding two babies that literally fit in the palm of your hand is not something you ever forget. It has a way of getting into your soul and mind and never, ever leaving! That being said; I never fully believed that I was really going to have a baby. I stayed emotionally distant from my pregnancy, but that came with consequences. I spent most of my pregnancy being irritable and snippy to my family. If you had asked me if I was worried, I would have told you that I really wasn't too worried, but it showed in ways that were beyond my control.